Disclaimer: nogle af digtene er skrevet med udgangspunkt i mine alter egoer: divers rollespilskarakterer. Andre er skrevet på baggrund af mine egne oplevelser og følelser.
Jeg siger ikke hvad der er hvad, for det er ikke det, der er pointen med dem.
Puslespil på 1000 brikker
Jeg fik skubbet til puslespillet
Så det røg på gulvet
I præcis 1000 stykker
Det tog mig den halve weekend (og lidt til)
At få det samlet igen
Men det er sært
Der er brikker, der ikke skulle være der
Og jeg mangler nogen
Billedet er anderledes
Jeg skal lige vænne mig til det
Dele af det smuldrer i mine hænder
Måske passer de bare ikke helt rigtigt sammen
Brikkerne
Begone lover
My lover has left me behind
For no good reason
And before I was ready to release him
He has turned and fled
And I stand abandoned
Angry and torn
With an itch beneath my skin that is him
And I will weep him out
And sweat him out
And bleed him out
And piss him out
And laugh him out
And talk him out
And sleep him out
Dream him out
And kiss him out
And fuck him out
I will wash him off my body
And out of my hair
I will forget his scent
His hands and his mouth
I will no longer flinch at the sight of his name
Or a glimpse of his face
I will have left him behind
And I won’t go back again
Heart transplant
I buried my broken heart today
In a shallow grave amongst the roses, yes
But buried none the less
I can’t believe I let it stay broken for so long
I attempted to glue it back together
But I couldn’t find all the pieces…
So it remained unfinished
Mended, but dented and well… broken
All those little pieces have been passing around in my body
They have infected me
Wounds that should have healed years ago
Have stayed putrid and bleeding puss
Wrecking me with tender pain
Hardening me towards any new attempts
I should have discarded it years ago
Maybe now that I have torn it out of my body
I can heal again
Maybe even grow a new heart...
And stop being so afraid of having it broken further
A dented heart shatters so easily
And I’ve been so careful with it
Played it safe
Dallied with those who could never break it
Because I didn’t (couldn't?) love them
Sad, I know
And foolish of me
Love is about taking chances
About risking the heart
Well, I’ve buried the broken one
All I can do now
Is wait for a fresh one to bloom
The mystery
Maybe a flock of butterflies flew down my throat one night when I was sleeping -
something flutters and flaps around in my stomach for sure.
Or maybe I have swallowed a snake -
because something writhes and slithers around inside
Or maybe (and this I agree is somewhat unlikely) someone has dumped illigal barrels of carbon dioxide into my belly in the dark of night -
because it tickles and bubbles away in my entire system!
And for good measure they turned up the heat (for I am practically burning up here!)
and they cut down on my oxygen supply (I'm a little dizzy too)
and somehow they also turned every step into a 100 meter run uphill (my heart is beating like crazy)
It's a mystery!
and yet wittnesses had described the guilty part
and as eyes and smiles and movements of hands are described to me
I know who it is...
It's all right, then, I file no charges...
though that someone has just caused yet another anomaly;
my smile suddenly turns extremely silly and a giggle escape my lips!
Something better than magic
I had been tumbling around
Upside down and twisted
Feet in the air and head towards ground
Spinning and turning and quite delirious
There were arms that caught me
And eased me to the ground
And a smile like sunshine
Burst into my heart
I was far away from home
But not lost, not alone
As he stood by me
And seemed determined to stay
He asks for nothing
But gives me a world
Of love and friendship and laughs
Understanding and acceptance.
Wouldn’t I be lost now without him?
He seems to know always where I am
How is it that he knows so well
When to hold me and when to kick my ass?
He provokes me and shakes me
He comforts me and loves me
He screams at me and kisses me
And altogether makes
My best friend
Weatherman
One step closer
And I surrender completely
Forgetting a while everything golden
Because of this shining boy
Hands and mouths and naked skin
This sudden urge to tear off clothes
Of giving in to temptation
Leaving all sense behind
Bury my face in his embrace
Taking in everything he has to give
Burning him, while he burns me
Touching molten lead
We can never escape untouched
See the marks on my body, now
And tell me I got them in a fall
What a fall!
But heed my warning sign!
And ignore my pleadings
To come closer
To touch me just one more time
All I long for now
Is being there again
In our twisting and turning body
Completely lost in one another
I could tempt you once more, and say
Let’s do it, then
Just this once…
Kill the mystery there is in wondering
Do you really want to know how the weather works?
Elegy for Beauty Incarnated
The sun will never rise again
The moon has abandoned our sky
The churchbells sing their sad refrain
As we kneel to say goodbye
The birds have fallen to the ground
Deep silence have prevailed
Laughter shall never again be found
Even smiles have turned curtailed
Cold wind against my brittle frame
Numb me from head to toe
As I softly whisper that name
That incarnates all my woe
Oh, shall I never see her face
Lit up by her inner sun?
Watch that body full of grace
Show me life has just begun?
How can I go on and live
When my heart has seized to beat?
How can I ask her to forgive
My last words said in heat?
How can I persist to breathe
When all my air is gone?
The blood inside me boil and seethe
Red like the extinct dawn
Could we go back a single day
I could tell her of my love
She would smile so bright and gay
Like sunshine from above
And she would touch my face like so
A gentle touch and mild
Before she turned away to go
So beautiful and wild
And I would know I had been blessed
With love so freely given
The sin would never be confessed
From my heart never driven
Damnation
With my mouth against her breast
I loose myself in her scent
Bury my face against her neck
Blur my vision with honey-coloured hair
Let hands play on smooth skin
Soft and shining like silk
Or…
I embrace him from behind
Let my hands explore rippling muscles
Of his chest, stomach, abdomen
Hesitate curiously at the numerous scars
I feel his back against my heaving chest
The mingling of sweat, and scents and moans
These two I long for with my entire being
My body aches for them
My soul longs for the fulfilment they provide
My heart…
No, wait, my heart is somewhere else…
Damn!
My precious sun, my golden boy
At war far from here, far from me
I set him free, I let him go
Brushed the aching demon from his eyes
Kissed him kindly goodbye
As a mother should…
Smiling I bend my head…
Never was I a mother to him
I’ll be his mistress till the end of my days
He’ll be my master
He has my heart…
Damn!
Painful love
It’s not my heart that’s breaking
It’s just my reaching arm
From dulling sleep I’m waking
To cry out in alarm
I hold you hard in yearning
I kiss your bleeding lips
On my skin bruises are burning
Left by your fingertips
You beat me deaf with silence
You strike me blind with fears
I whisper words of violence
Into your shredded ears
I’m crushed in your embrace
I’m battered with your love
I hide my weeping face
I cry to stars above
You can smother me in flowers
But Darling, don’t you see?
This brutal love of ours
Is just not good for me
Stolen moments
As the world momentarily turns its head the other way
We indulge in sinful activities:
* Curious fingers against flesh
* The soft meeting of lips
* Forbidden words spoken
Any minute now someone will catch a glimpse of us
Recognize telltale clues:
* Unmodestly blushing cheeks
* Sharp catchings of breath
* The shining of eyes
We bury ourselves in fairytale dreams
Hold reality at bay to avoid:
* The parting of lovers
* The crying of silent tears
* The breaking of hearts
Translation
Speak to me softly
You break me asunder
With your harsh words
And angry eyes
You rip at my heartstrings
With unfeeling hands
The tune you play in me
Is strident and false
You blow me over
With cries like a storm
With nothing to cling to
I whirl in your anger
I’m down on my knees
Bleeding and hurting
A different you comes to me
And holds me close
You whisper word of comfort
In a foreign tongue
You kiss away pain
In places that didn’t hurt
How can it be
You know me so badly?
How can you toss me to the ground
And weep for my pain?
I pull back for selfpreservation
I won’t take this hateful stare
Speak to me in words plainly
Where this hatred comes from
I have hurt you, I know
You hurt me now in return
Are we even, then?
Or through?
I will not have this divided man
I won’t come near you
Never knowing whether
I will weep or laugh next
Speak to me softly
Or don’t speak at all
Come to me in honesty
Or don’t come at all
Pyrate poetry 1
This is torture!
He stands there; mere two inches starboard
And I cannot reach out and touch him
My own principles stay my hand
Captain’s orders and common sense as well.
Ah, but pirate am I!
I take that which is forbidden to me
I steal kisses of passion
I trick my way to hidden embraces
I board his cabin and have him at my mercy!
I keep these stolen moments in my treasure chest
And nothing is more precious to me
Pyrate petry 2
I had thought myself beyond such foolishness
Had never thought that feelings for a mere man
Could surpass my love for the Sea
Now he is the wind that tugs at my hair
He is the spray of salt water on my skin
He is the wave that breaks on my bow
He is the calm days of smooth sailing
He is the storm that wreaks havoc in me
And the wind in my hair is his caress
The salt-water sprays are his kisses on my face
The storm is his embraces
Crushing me tightly to his chest
He is the Ocean from horizon to horizon
And beyond
And I drown in him willingly
Pyrate poetry 3
I am a fish out of water.
With desperate eyes and gasping mouth
I cast myself about,
choking on air.
And all these people staring
are like cruel children who,
with grinning faces and hands on knees,
just wait for me to lie still and die.
Only you seem to care about my predicament
With gentle hands and great speed
you carry me towards the ocean
and uncerimonously toss me back
where I belong.
As cool water surround me once more
and dried up gills comes to life
I am suddenly grabbed by panic
at the sight of you
still on shore.
Maybe you belong to this place
where I cannot be?
Then without any further ado
you jump in beside me
transforming your body
into smoothness and shining scales
and happily I sigh;
You are merefolk
- just like me